Really?

We are going to have a baby… That doesn’t even sound right. It seems like just yesterday that the two of us were in graduate school and trying to figure out if I was going to introduce Kyllan as my girlfriend before heading of to a holiday party. I am sill getting use to this whole college professor thing. I’ve had years of formal education. Years of research experience. I’ve even taught before. But when the kids get ready to leave at the end of class, I start to leave with them, before remembering that I was the one that just gave the lecture and that I have to stay behind to shut off the lights and lock the door. Now, with zero experience or education, I have a few short months to prepare to be a dad 24/7.  It’s a little scary. It would be a lot scary without Kyllan. The first time we heard the baby’s heart beat, I fought hard not to tear up in front of the doctor. (I’m a man’s man. I can’t be tearing up in front of no doctor!) Kyllan was just chillin’. She’s had months to adjust mentally as her body adjust physically. Me? I feel like an all new thesis defense is quickly approaching and the baby is the committee chair. Don’t get me wrong, I am excited. I just have no idea how to prepare for this and what comes afterward. Especially with a girl. (Is there a set of criteria for picking out a good doll?)

I’ve actually come a long way these past few years. Somewhere there is a picture of me holding our nephew, then 1, with my arms completely outstretched and as far away from me as possible. I had no idea what to do with him. Now, he is one of my favorite people in the whole world. (I still have no idea what to do with him though, so we usually just do whatever he wants.) About a year ago Kyllan and I were asked to substitute one morning in the nursery at our church. We’ve been volunteering every other Sunday ever since. I didn’t know I was a kid person. I had avoided them all of my life, even when I was a kid. Now “baby holding Sunday” is one of the highlights of my week… but we get to give those kids back.

In the future, I will be following up each of Kyllan’s post about the pregnancy with my own. I can’t let this become a girly blog, especially since I am going to be out numbered in the house.